Nicknames

You might be a miller if you have a nickname like poopies, butt munch, tiko, piko, krispies, retard, amongst others... and find it perfectly normal.

Driveway

You might be a miller if your mom refused to pull into your dad's half circle driveway to pick you up, but instead backed in a tiny corner of it and made you walk up there.

Sleep Overs 2

You might be a miller if your mom spread rumors so that no one was ever allowed to sleep over at your dad's house for years, even though you really wanted them to sleep over.

Sleep Overs

You might be a miller if often you'd rather not invite a friend over to sleep over for two reasons, one because mom probably would take it away as a punishment and embarrass you and two because people might see how weird your life was.

Showers

You may be a miller if your mom though showers took less time, if all the young girls shared showers.

Almost adoption

You might be a miller if your mom ever took in all of someone else's 4 kids to take care of even though she was still a "poor single" mother, and that may have been the times she was nicest to her own kids too.

I want to move out. Now how about that vacation next week.

If you had to tell your mother you wanted to move out and then were the only child to go on vacation with her the next week. Yes just mother, me, and Aunt Chrissy Honey in a car all the way to the tip top of Michigan.

Nice Car! Oh Shit Duck!

You might be a Miller if the sight of a huge Buick station wagon with wood paneling on the sides makes you shit your pants.

(even though she no longer has that car)

Another Miller Member?

You might be a Miller if at one point your mother spent more time with a foster child than her three other kids combined. (seriously what a time that was i thought she was going to adopt him. Luckily for that kid he escaped.)

Mike

You might be a miller if your name is mike and you have been too lazy to update this since it started... unlike everyone else... :)

Court

If your parents went to court at least once every year for 15 years, over divorce issues, money issues, kid issues, or abuse accusations. There is a picture of 4 charlie's angel style kids posing in the courthouse ages 21,20,18, and 15.

Magic Wands

If you ever had a magic wand, made of glitter, water, and cheap glass, to cast spells so mom wasn't mad at you any more. After hours of trying, sometimes it worked.

Lying

If you ever lied to cover up a fight between you and a sibling, cause you were too scared what mom might do, and you weren't that mad at the other sibling.

More Birthdays

If you ever got told when you were 7 that you were selfish on your birthday cause you wanted to go to your ballet class, and didn't care that it was your mom's birthday too. You were 7.

What's this birthday gift?

if one of your siblings or you (me) can say that their mom in fact gave them a noose for their birthday and then proceeded to yell at them for not correctly and rapidly identifying the now unwrapped device to kill yourself...

Pizza Hut, and Papa John's really out did themselves!

if you now realize that those nights mom collected $10 dollars from her 4 kids ($40) for pizza that night..was not actually a sweet deal..u may be a miller

more clothes?!

if your mom lays out a bunch of clothes on your bed that are new which she bought for you....you try them on rip of the tags of the ones you like because she asked told you to...and and best surprise now you owe her money!

Clothes

If you ever had to have clothes specifically called mom's clothes, and dad's clothes. Cause no matter how cool dad's clothes were you can't wear them at mom's and your not allowed to take mom's clothes to dad's. Dad's clothes must stay folded and hidden in a bag in the closet until you wear them again.

Moving

You know your moving out, and mom won't be happy, so you have the forsight to have your brother smuggle out a box with the paper route to hide in a tree up the street so you would have something from home to take in the move.

Secret Missions

You went on secret missions to learn more about your parents cause they never told you anything.

Sex

You found out your dad was a sexaholic, why because you found his sexaholic anyonomous brochure....

Closeness

Sure sitting on your sister's face might not bother you at all, you might not even think that's weird, but trying to actually establish some connection deeper than a physical level proves challenging... call it trust issues.

Crazy

If you ever occasionally fear you have inherited a genetic mental disorder, known as Crazy, or paranoid, or psycho, or OCD, or anything else having to do with strange mental/emotional problems.

Iced Milk

You Might be a Miller if your mom would buy milk in bulk and then freeze it.

Florida

You might be a Miller if on the family vacation to Florida your mom stopped talking to you (Kristy & Sara) and just sat out by the pool for hours (at a random motel) until Mike had to go and try to talk it out with her. Then you had to apologize for what you did wrong (which is still currently unknown.)

That's not yours ...

You Might be a Miller if you had over $190,000 in a secret bank account at age 10. But don't worry it's not really your money your mom is probably just trying to hind it from the government.

Sick Days

You might be a miller if as a sick kid you would rather suffer through a school day than spend it at home with your mom.

Vegetarianism

You might be a miller if your parents still refer to your diet of vegetarianism that you have had now for over 10 years as "eating rabbit food" and that you are too picky of an eater just because you and a few other million people (including half of India) don't eat meat. Clearly your still only surviving on PJ sandwiches and mac n cheese.

Chickens

You might be a miller if you ever spent a day playing on a farm, caught a chicken, to have your brother cut off its head. Then it rain around and chased you for another 2 minutes before dying, and your grandparents thought nothing of cooking it up for dinner.

Amish

You might be a miller if you can claim over 200+ Amish cousins from one of your 11 Amish aunts or uncles.

Nose

You might be a miller if you have the classic miller nose, so large that Israel may think your Jewish and try and detain you. Even though your full breed Amish/Irish.

Sister Nappers

You may be a miller if you watched your littler sister be stolen by shadows, when she was just born. Yet, she was still there when you crept over to check.

Ears

You might be a miller if ear pulling was a standard punishment at your house, and you have a brother who may have one ear larger than another from a particularly violent tug.

Relationship working

You might be a miller if you ever were forced to pay half of a therapy session, to work on a relationship with your mother, because she thought that was more responsible of you, even though you were jobless and still in high school.

Webpage

You might be a miller if you find this website more theraputic than any of the psycho/counciling people you or someone you know have ever paid to help you.

Money

You might be a miller if your mom ever stole money from you, and pretended that she didn't ... you just magically had less.

Buelher's Bag

You might be a miller if you have ever sported a Buelhers brown paper bag as your only clothing in the backyard when you were forced outside, on your little sisters bday, and you had to beg for the bag not to be out showing your titties to the world in just your underwear.

States

You might be a miller if everyone in your family lives in a different state, and no one knows where exactly mom lives.

Hello Miller Residence ....

you might be a Miller if your mom hides a working plugged in telephone behind your T.V. ............. more than once

D

If your mom's mail comes in as Mary Jane D. Miller and you ask her what her middle name is and she won't ever tell you. Who knew middle names were so secretive?

whose a bitch?

you might be a miller if you've ever had an awkward moment right as your mom opens the door because you've been casually discussing how much she is a bitch as your getting ready in the downstairs bathroom

Mom Slap Dad

If you ever watched your mom slap your dad

meal worms

If your mom ever made you eat meal worms in your cereal, until it was gone. Then call and complain and get a coupon for free poptarts.... Poptarts don't make up for eating meal worms.

Pincher Bug

Pincher Bugs

services

If Children Services ever came to your home to "check up" on your family situation, and not because you volunteer there.

gun

If you ever saw one parent pull a gun on another parent

You might be a Miller if...

You think Report Abuse is funny.

unlock

You might be a miller if you hid extra copies of your own house keys.

Christmas

You might be a Miller if you were standing outside your house on Christmas with the cops wondering where your mom was.

Old Ham

You might be a miller if you've ever strategically buried ham in the backyard under dirt and crispy brown pine needles. . .

garage

if you cleaned at the same garage repeatedly during the same day....to make sure it was good enough...

You Might be a Miller if

You call family time, Miller time!

How's Your Mom?

You Might be a Miller if someone asks how your mom is and you answer "I have no idea." And then they continue to tell you to tell her that they say Hi

Cookie Monster

Yo so I was walking home and Oscar the Grouch popped out of a trash can and tried to mug me, so i totally shoved a cookie in his face. And he was all like "who the fuck do I look like? cookie monster?" and I was all like "yeah biatch, yeah you do" and while I said that I dumped blue paint on him and he totally looked like cookie monster, and he was all defeated and 'blue' (pun) cuz he knew at that point i was just too damn cool to argue with . . . . . . .

If you ...

If you ever had enough crazy things to write a whole blog about being a miller.

You might be a miller